Honestly, I didn’t think I would have to worry about this.

After everything had been through with bullying, and how angry she’d felt about having to give up her ‘normal school life’, I assumed that college would be the fresh start she needed.

A new environment, new people, a chance to start again. Surely this would be different? And initially there were so many positives.

The good parts

The inclusive learning support team at college were wonderful. They were so accommodating and helpful before Evie had even walked through the doors on her first day. So much support was on offer, an extra tour of the campus to help her settle in, arrangements being made for her exam access needs, and even a direct email address for me if I had any worries.

On paper, everything looked perfect. But there’s something I underestimated about home schooling. When you’ve spent time away from being constantly surrounded by people your own age, your idea of what’s normal begins to change.

When the classroom just isn’t the right fit

I think what I’d underestimated was just how much homeschooling had changed Evie’s expectations of a learning environment. When you’re no longer constantly surrounded by children your own age, your idea of what’s normal changes. Suddenly being back in a classroom, surrounded by the noise, the constant chatter, the banter and what sometimes felt like childish behaviour, was tough.

The learning was hard too. The constant note-taking didn’t suit Evie’s learning style, and slowly I watched her usual bubbly personality begin to disappear. And that’s hard to watch. Especially when the whole reason we’d started homeschooling was to give her a happier, more positive experience of education.

It wasn’t that Evie didn’t want to learn. The classroom environment just wasn’t working for her. And as a parent, you’re only ever as happy as your saddest child.

Knowing when something isn’t right

I’ve always been a big advocate for changing something that isn’t right. Just because you’ve started down one path doesn’t mean you have to keep going, especially if it’s making you unhappy. And this time, Evie knew. It was her decision to leave college.

After everything she’d been through, I wasn’t going to insist she stayed somewhere that was making her unhappy simply because it was the conventional next step. That doesn’t mean the college had done anything wrong. Quite the opposite. The support we’d received had been fantastic, but sometimes, even with all the support in the world, an environment just isn’t the right fit. And I think there’s a lot to be said for a young person having the confidence to recognise that for themselves.

Of course, that left us with another question. What on earth were we going to do next? Had we missed the boat? It was already the beginning of October, and I assumed we’d missed the boat for apprenticeships. Surely they all started in September, just like college? Well, how wrong was I!

It turns out that if you can find an employer willing to take you on, an apprenticeship can be arranged at different points throughout the year. And that’s exactly what happened. Just ten days later, we were embarking on yet another journey we hadn’t foreseen. An Equine apprenticeship with Haddon Training. They have been amazing so far and we are genuinely excited to see where this new direction takes Evie. It’s not the path we imagined when she first left school. It’s not even the path we’d imagined when she started college. But perhaps one of the biggest things this while journey has taught me is: sometimes the right path isn’t the one you planned. It’s certainly not where we thought we’d be when Evie first left school, or even when she started college.

And that’s ok. There’s more than one way to learn

I think one of the biggest worries we have as homeschooling parents is what happens next? Will our children cope with college? Will they settle back into a classroom? Will they have the same opportunities as everyone else? It’s easy to feel that college is the natural next step, and that anything else is somehow a step backwards.

But I’m beginning to realise that isn’t necessarily true. Evie gave college a go, she recognised it wasn’t right for her, and she had the confidence to say so and now she’s trying something completely different.

I don’t know exactly where this new journey will take her, but I’m excited to find out. Surely that’s what we all want for our children? For them to find something they enjoy, somewhere they feel comfortable, and a way of learning that works for them. Sometimes changing direction isn’t giving up. It’s moving forward in a different way. If you’re homeschooling a teenager and worrying about what comes next, remember that college isn’t the only option. There are other routes, other opportunities and other ways for our children to find their place.

And sometimes those opportunities appear just when you think you’ve run out of options. You can find out more about apprenticeships for college age here.

Photo by Quilia on Unsplash