It’s been such a while since I have written on here. I’m not entirely sure why. It’s been a very busy time – emotionally and physically! We’ve driven between The North and Titchfield, Hampshire to sit exams for many weeks on end. We managed beach walks, late night runs to help fall asleep – Evie’s had me watching Critical Care in London’s Trauma rooms on Netflix – to distract from exams!

She got through it – with a smile most days. As I waited with her outside the exam rooms, trying to be positive but not over the top I felt such a sense of pride but also felt like I could cry for her going in. As a ‘normal school’ parent you don’t get to see this part – the nerves building up just before they go in. Waiting for the name to be called. She was lucky compared to ‘normal year 11’s’. Evie was sitting 9 exams this Summer – compared with over 20 for her school peers. She had more time to focus, revise and rest. The best decision for her, without a doubt.

And now its over. We’ve done it. She’s done it. I thought I’d feel relieved, but I feel such mixed emotions. Sadness, thankful we gave it a shot. Pride. Slightly lost? She’s going to college now – and I think I need to get my head around giving up the control I’ve needed to take.

I’m now relying on other adults in college to sort out her access requirements for A Levels – I can’t be involved in that. They will determine if she needs extra time and extra support and I just have to sit back. Evie is rightly in control of the communications now with college – and she went in for a taster day a few weeks ago – with an apprehensive smile on her face. I now need her to trust that there are nice people out there – kind girls who will love her for who she is and what she brings.

I can’t wait to see her thrive. Now I need to think about what I do with all this knowledge this process has taught me, and this passion I have inside.